Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Unchained Melody


       Tonight I write from a place of deep sadness.  I do not want to call it “depression” because I do not want to speak something so potentially permanent over myself, but it is indeed deeper than just a bad day.  I am actually quite despondent.  I have been experiencing some fairly significant health issues which seem only to compound the darkness of my soul. I have not worked; I have not put on makeup; I have not done my hair; and have only, out of necessity, showered and left my house (one time of which will be a trip to the doctor tomorrow for more testing). 

       Things have continued to worsen domestically, although every time I think it impossible.  I have been “awarded” a level of support which is considerably less than expected, yet the response has been than I am just like every other “angry spiteful” ex-wife and am being DEMANDED to give an explanation for "my" decisions.  I did NOT ask for this… ANY of it; anything that is being “fought” for is by the counsel of my attorney, as to what is standard and due to my apparent inability to make decisions to protect myself or what is in my future best interest and that of my children.  I may be a lot of things, but SPITEFUL is not one of them.  I have loved, although not perfectly, for over 20 years… I have been betrayed, rejected, unloved, unprotected, manipulated, intimidated and abandoned; have had vindictive, spiteful and hateful actions and words hurled at and about me.  I have, again while not perfectly, chosen to love.  Yes, I am angry!  Infuriated to tell you the truth… but am NOT spiteful. I’m not going after my “due”. I’m allowing someone else to fight for me because I have not done so.
          
        That is only part of my dejection.  In this horrific season of my life, I have made some sinful choices. Ones of which I NEVER deemed possible. But in those decisions, came a temporary happiness.  While others call it a deceptive happiness, it was indeed happy.  Times of great laughter, rest, quiet, goofiness, reflection, acceptance, admiration, adoration, deep friendship, self-discovery, and yes… love.  I have never felt more accepted and beautiful in all my life. JUST AS I AM.  I experienced the natural response to serve, love and encourage, yet now it was actually being received!  Not just received, but acknowledged and appreciated, reciprocated even.  BUT… it was sin. Sin?  Truth? I am still baffled by it…
I HAD to walk away… just saying that causes my chest to ache and my eyes to tear.  In fact, I have not stopped crying since that dreadful day. (I have now commenced to weeping…)  It goes against EVERYTHING I am… to walk away.  I am a FIGHTER.  I am LOYAL.  I love DEEPLY.  Can I still say faithful?  But I have had to make the MOST difficult choice of my life… the choice to fight differently, to be loyal differently, to love for the RIGHT reasons, for selfless reasons (although having started selfishly).  I suppose this is the death of dying to self… so much more painful than we EVER dream. THAT is the deception.
         
           I must tell you (whoever you are), I have “decided” in the last couple of days that I do not ever want to love again… not this kind of love.  I will love my friends and family- deeply- but I believe that is my limit for this lifetime. The pain of giving my heart away is unbearable… I know, tis not the love that hurts, but the pain of love broken. It is a death… there is no other way to describe this… but death.
           
          I pray for redemption… forgiveness…

          For those I love: I pray joy- intense joy, peace, restoration, to love and be loved- deeply, wholeness and healing…

         But for me today… I cannot even see the sun breaking through anytime soon. 

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